Appropriately Challenging Our Kids
Many parents today want to make sure their children are getting what they need and are being met where they are. Teachers are also committed to accomplishing the same goal. We recognize that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to learning anymore. We take the time to understand how a child thinks and learns to guide our differentiation in the classroom.
While this is true, some parents want their kids not just to be met where they are, but also to be advanced. There is a shared motivation amongst the parent population for their child to stand out and be in the “top” of their class. We live in a competitive society, and so we are always thinking about how to make sure our child is better than anyone else. Understandably, we get caught up in this mentality. I challenge you, though, to take a step back and think about how this affects your child, particularly in math. Our kids are developing at a faster rate than they should be.
Math seems to be the most tangible subject area for kids to quickly advance in and so I believe that is why parents have latched on to it. It feels more concrete and procedural, so it’s easy to excel in right?
WRONG.
I have had kids and parents tell me at the start of the school year that their child is 2-3 grade levels above their current grade, as determined by an out-of-school math facility. When I start teaching, what I see is a child who has strong calculation skills, but can’t do anything else. That’s right. There’s more to math than calculations!
Often, these “advanced” children are also struggling to do some foundational grade-level concepts. When children are advanced too quickly, they lose crucial skill-building and experiences they would have had in their grade level.
I’m not saying your child is not deserving or capable of being challenged. I’m saying we need to appropriately challenge a child at the age they are and grade level they are in. What needs to change is the obsession with your child being multiple grade levels above what they actually are. School is broken down into subsequent grade levels for a reason. There are developmental milestones that should not be overlooked or skipped.
If the standard curriculum is not meeting your child where they are, you should absolutely advocate for your child and seek out enrichment. However, you need to make sure that the enrichment they get is connected to what they are learning in school and encourages a holistic understanding in math, not just focused on calculations and drilling procedures, but also on logical and flexible thinking and generalizing their skills to new content.
It does no good to a child in third grade to be learning the basics of fraction operations in school and then to be learning how to do the division algorithm outside of school simultaneously, when the two are not related or meaningful at this stage of their development.
Nowadays, every child is in some kind of math bootcamp outside of school because parents are hearing how their child is “grade levels ahead” and they want to be able to say that about their child too. I’m trying to tell you that this not what you should strive for, and it actually will make their school year more difficult. School is supposed to be where kids are learning a bulk of their foundational skills, teachers are fully trained in what they are doing. They should not be competing with what these outside bootcamps are doing. The bootcamps should be aligning with the schools.
If you truly want your child to stand out, take my advice and focus on what’s important at your child’s grade level. I know that it is hard to navigate a space where you and your child feel like you're not good enough because others are saying haughtily that their child is doing 7th grade math in 4th grade. This parent and child may believe they’re the best, but in the classroom, where they are supposed to be learning, they'll be humbled quickly when they are given a grade-level question they can’t answer or explain.
Let your child be the one who CAN do this.
There are many ways for your child to be enriched at their grade level. Advancing a child shouldn’t mean going beyond the grade level; it means going a step further with grade-level content. For example, if your child is excelling with the addition algorithm, give them problems that require them to find missing digits; this would extend the child to take what they have mastered and apply it to a logic puzzle. Knowing how to add is just one step towards having holistic understanding and building flexible thinking. Can they also make sense of numbers when they are presented in other ways? Can they make connections between addition and subtraction? Do they understand the difference between a part and a whole?
I believe in meeting kids where they are, but also respecting, valuing, and cultivating their learning process. There are many resources out there that teachers and parents can use to differentiate for a child without always going into future grade-level content. We need to realize that making our kids grow up faster for the sake of being “gifted”is not developmentally appropriate, nor is it preparing the child to be successful in the real world.
Disclaimer: There are, of course, exceptions to what I have said above. Some children are truly gifted and have an ability to understand all the layers of math from a young age. However, it is important to note that this is not a norm.
